First things first, The White Stripes most definitely rocked my tits off last night. Jack is a guitar / front man GOD who knows how to bring the house down. Really, I truly can’t express how fucking awesome that show was – picture me in a massive orgy, covered in BBQ sauce & you still won’t get a clear idea of it’s awesomeness.
However.
To all the 16 year old fucks at the White Stripes show….I am not sure what my ex-boyfriend told you, but no, I will not fuck you if you say hello to me. This here, me standing w/ my arms crossed and staring straight ahead? Is NOT code for “keep talking to me during Jack’s solo.” You fuck. I absolutely don’t give a rat’s ass if Daddy got you a Humvee for your birthday & you are psyched because your other 16 year old homo friends had an 11 pm curfew and you don’t. When you ask me if I’m a teacher because I’m wearing glasses, this is one step closer to me taking this broken bottle & shoving it down your throat. And while you’re writhing in pain on the ground with blood pouring out of your mouth? I’m not even batting an eyelash and I’m finally getting back to enjoying the show.
So I know you Menternet fanatics out there are probably thinking it’s a compliment to be hit on by people 14 years your junior. Trust me, these guys need to A.) Take a few pointers from “Get Laid 101” & B.) They were beyond annoying. Picture being in tub full of razor blades w/ no hope of escape and you might understand.
But this post is supposed to be about the awesomeness that is the White Stripes. And to them, I salute you. You came, you rocked, & for that I am thankful. Bless your little hearts.
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