The Menternet

Not really (but sort of).

In any case, my biggest concern of late is the idea that New York is considering fining people up to $100 for crossing the street while listening to an ipod or talking on a cell phone. In the rough-and-tumble city that is the Big Apple, this seems like another step towards making us the biggest fucking pussies on the planet. Officials contend that the fine makes sense thanks to 3 recent deaths in Brooklyn that were somehow related to some dumb asshole crossing the street without paying attention and listening to some sort of personal entertainment device. Hey man, this town is all about multi-tasking, so if you can’t keep up with the pack, there’s always a chance that the lions will snatch you up while the rest of the herd runs to safety.

The pussification of America is all around us and here at the Menternet, we strongly oppose this trend. Kids now wear helmets on bikes (yet they love those annoying fucking “roller sneakers”), fireworks are banned from Chinese New Year celebrations, and you can’t even bring your Glock into most Olive Garden locations anymore. The point is, we’re at war right now and if we are going to continue with any sort of military, how the fuck are we going to succeed when we’re all a bunch of safety-obsessed little shitbirds? Hey, maybe this all comes back to Anna after all. She lived hard and she lived fast and she paid the price. It’s certainly not for everyone, but it is A Lifestyle and she hurt no one but herself and the people who loved her (including, but not limited to, the millions who loved her Guess ads from back when she was hot).

Photo from foraggio’s photostream.

Please people, protest any legislation that makes us weaker. Stop the ipods, stop the phones, and what is next? No talking at all while crossing the street? No looking at things? Pay attention and we’ll all be just fine. If you ask me (and I am well aware that no one is), someone should lay a smack down on the myriad asshole tourists who stop for no reason whenever they feel like it. They are a menace (one of the few pejorative words with “men” in it) and should be all be forced to take classes in urban flow. Like the good people of New Hampshire, we should all Live Free or Die. In life, we all take risks, so listen to your ipod with some common sense (along with a sense of personal freedom), and know that if you do not watch yourself, you just might find yourself dead. (Once again, I thought this had nothing to do with her, but R.I.P. Anna. The Menternet salutes you.)