The Menternet

I know it’s been a while, and I know I am really high right at the moment, but I just came across something that no one is mentioning right now but absolutely has to be addressed. It’s a news item that I would think would be an alert on TV and on the radio and places besides just the news.com sites out there, but it’s big, so I’ll report it here. Anyway, like I said, it’s a biggie. What? Oh, alright, so get this (you might want to sit down first, because this news completely floored me when I read some of it). Okay, are you ready? Only if you are sitting and only if you are feeling patriotic and only if you have the balls to get up and defend shit like that guy who sings that song about standing up next to you and fighting people who try to mess with our shit should you read on. If not, you should look at something distracting like this, this, or this, and just chill for a while.

Okay, so here goes… (if this is your first time on the web, just click on that down there where it says, “Russia has invaded Georgia”)

Russia has invaded Georgia!

This is exactly like Red Dawn and when I saw that, I was like, this shit is fucking nuts! I bet they have been planning this shit since even before that movie came out, then when it did, those Reds were like, “Oh fuck! Well, now they’ll be ready, so we should wait a couple of decades and then hit them when they don’t expect it because they all will have forgotten about that movie by then.” Well guess what, you shifty commies? We have not forgotten, we will never forget, and your ass is grass and we’re the lawn mower (a good, American mower with a heavy-gauge steel frame and a cupholder) because you have fucked with us for the last time. It’s like Ivan Drago all over again, only this time, Rocky is 8 feet tall and he doesn’t need any training because he is jacked up on adrenaline and mashed up rhino horns, motherfucker! People, it is time to forget about the shitty economy, to set aside this upcoming election of our new king, to look to the Olympians who are fighting the good fight in Chinese, and to be inspired by our men and women in uniform all over the world who risk their lives daily in the service of democracy. Let’s do this for the USA and let’s do this for our brothers and sisters of the 13th colony of this great nation. I think their motto says it all, “Wisdom, justice, and moderation.” After the dust settles and we send the Ruskies packing, we can think about the new motto, “WOLVERINES!” Get some.