The Menternet

I was just wondering if this is your first concert? I’m asking you this because it sure seems like it. You are flailing around taking up more than your fair share of space, but you really don’t appear to mind. (That’s a problem.) You’re having a great time and so is your precious little lady friend, but the people around you (myself included) are rolling their eyes and mocking your 1989 hip hop moves and the look on your face that (no offense) can only be described as pure, unadulterated “dumbfuck.” I am thinking about jingling my keys or throwing an old soup bone to see if I can get you to move from my area so that a.) I no longer have to put up with your bumping into me (I don’t care what you heard, I absolutely did not order a lapdance) and b.) can focus on the show instead of trying to figure out how many different head injuries you experienced growing up in Long Island or New Jersey or wherever folks like you are bred. I highly encourage everyone (even you) to get excited about the music, enjoy the show, and by all means, celebrate life on every possible level. I just wish you would do it somewhere else. Lastly, check out your moves in the mirror or get some feedback from your friends. I know you’re drunk (so am I, that’s not the issue), but that’s no excuse for being an asshole.