Archive for the 'movies' Category
If you like Entourage (and you know you do, you big sack o’ potatoes), then you will love this. In this version, Vince is a hot on the scene “rapper” and his knucklehead friends are from Boston instead of Queens. In any case, they are every bit as awesome as you think they are and you can be sure they are doing bong hits between takes and bedding down all the hardbodies on set.
Please do not click this unless you are 100% ready to have your face melted.
Speaking of Hardbodies…
I didn’t even finish watching this, and I knew I had to get it to my fellow Menterneters. Enjoy.
Thanks to Reg for the tip. (Also, http://www.blackcrowes.net)
You know those boners you get when you’re watching a really great movie? Not a porn movie, though those are good, too. No, I’m talking about action movies, and action movie boners. The kind you get when you’re watching Die Hard or Predator or Raiders of the Lost Ark. You real men know what I mean. It’s that totally raging wood you get when John McClane jumps off the roof of Nakatomi Plaza with nothing but a fire hose wrapped around his waist. Or when Arnie goes mano-a-mano with the Predator. Or pretty much any time Indiana Jones does anything.
Now you may not have heard, but there’s a new Indiana Jones movies coming out this week. It doesn’t really matter what it’s called. It could have been titled Indiana Jones Takes a Massive Shit and then Falls Asleep on the Couch and I was gonna be there. Well, I was. I just got back from a press screening in Philadelphia of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The verdict? Bonerville. Complete and utter Bonerville.
Two hours of awesome, knock your socks off, kick you in the ass action from start to finish. Put aside any skepticism you may have had. Disregard any fears of witnessing another Phantom Menace. The Beards (Lucas and Spielberg) have done it. And when I say “Done it” I mean “punched you hard in the nuts with an awesome summer movie”.
The best part? Harrison Ford actually decided to act again. Unlike the crap he’s been phoning in for the last 15 years, Ford makes Jones crackle with the kind of charisma we haven’t seen since, well… probably Last Crusade. Karen Allen is back as Marion Ravenwood and holy fucking shit my Christ I’ve got to go back and amend my MILF list, cause this lady just launched to the top of it. Kate Blanchett play a sexy Russian who has a thing for swords and even the Disturbia/Transformers kid, Shia Thebeef, impressed me.
I could go on and on, but why bother? You’ll have a much better time watching the movie then reading about how much I wanted to suck its dick.
Indy 4 is the best movie of 2008. Hands down. “But it’s only May.” you say? Well to that my only response is “Fuck off”.
Buy your tickets now and grab a pair of sweatpants. Indiana Jones is back.
As always, if you have any comments, criticisms or insults, please feel free to email me at Slone13@hotmail.com.
It’s been a little while, but Slone ain’t dead yet. This came through the wire with the subject, I just transformed in my pants! (Which is funny on multiple levels.)
If you’re heading out tonight, please be careful.
In the meantime, to get you in the spirit of the season, please enjoy this clip.
Slone13 here again with some more 4 Fast 4 Furious hot chick casting news. It looks like the producers of the 3rd sequel to the now legendary and ultra awesome The Fast and The Furious are pulling out all the stops now. They’ve gone to the hot chick well again and this time they’ve returned with a bucket of Michele Rodriguez. That’s right, Ms. Rodriguez will be reprising the roll she nearly won an Oscar for opposite Vin Diesel in the original Fast and Furious. Now I’ve heard rumblings from message board losers that Michele Rodriguez is too “manly”. To them I simply say, fuck you. I think P!NK and Fergie are hot, too. What are you gonna do about it? That’s what I thought.
For more Fast & Furious discussion and a great Marsala recipe, email me at slone13@fakemail.com
Okay, as everyone knows, The Fast and The Furious is arguably the zenith of filmmaking. Fast cars, Vin Diesel, and hot chicks is a formula the simply can not lose. Unfortunately, just like when Coca-Cola fucked with their recipe and failed miserably, so did 2 Fast 2 Furious when they decided to alter their sure fire formula and eliminate the high octane Diesel from the sequel. For the third entry in the franchise, The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift (or as I prefer to call it, 3 Fast 3 Furious), the producers were able to barely save face by including a brief uncredited cameo by Vin at the end. When the announcement came that there was going to be yet another sequel (I’m really pulling for 4 Fast 4 Furious as the title) I was cautiously optimistic. However the caution evaporated when I head that The Vinster was going to be back full time for this one. Then when they cast this chick, Israeli model (and Miss Israel 2004), Gal Gadot, all my fears were allayed entirely. Cars? Check. Vin Diesel? Check. Hot chicks? Check. In a nutshell, 4 Fast 4 Furious looks to be shaping up to be a possible contender in the “Sequel that’s even better than the original” Oscar at next year’s Academy Awards. As any true cinephile knows, that Oscar is currently held by Godfather 2. With the help of Vin Diesel and this hot chick, Godfather 2 will soon be but a footnote in cinematic history.
For comments, criticism and insults, please email me at Slone13@fakemail.com.
And the kicker - I haven’t even seen it yet! “Whoa, Geoff, have you lost your gosh darned mind? How can you possibly suggest a film you haven’t even seen?” Well, let me tell you, imaginary guy who pops up from time to time to set me up with questions that are convenient to what I am trying to convey. The answer is simple: I trust the recommender AND the cast is chock full of people I (along with other people who have refined taste in moving pictures) see on screen and say, “Oh him (or her)… I really like him (or her). I remember him (or her) from ________ and he (or she) was really good in ________, so maybe I should check this out as well.”
And so on and so on. Anyway, I put it in my queue, and will report more on it it later.
Well, it’s been a long wait, but Dudefest 2008 is upon us. Today is a day for dudes everywhere to celebrate their dudeness. If you have not already planned your own party, try to get in on someone else’s because it is destined to be one for the books. There will be beer, there will be tooters, there will be action movies, there will be deli meats, there will be (deli) cheeses (none of that fancy “fromage” stuff tonight), there will be video games, there will be games of skill, and there will be fun.
For those of you not in the know, please get in the know. The Brooknani Social Club is hosting a wicked Dudefest (probably the flagship of the franchise) and word on the street is that Garbage Kitty will be in the house (so you know it’s going to be a party). Faces be warned: there is a 99% change of meltage.
Boo-ya.
