Apparently, we with junk danglin’ between our legs need a guide as to how to properly use the can. If I’d never been in a public restroom (or the outhouse-like facilities at my workplace), I’d think men didn’t need such advice. But obviously, that is not the case.
Who hasn’t encountered the shockingly missed urinal (”if he were drunk, I’d understand, but it’s 10:30am and I’m in an office building bathroom”), toilet paper thrown every which place (”is that a manpon?”), or the wall-defiling assplosion?
Good thing someone is looking out for us…
As far as I can tell, this is saying “if you’re wearing a baseball hat, have an entire-torso-covering belly and you do the pee-lean-back, don’t whiz on the floor, fuckface.” Good advice. I just wish they’d tried to make it a little more universal.
I realize I’m late on both counts but you’ll just have to deal with it.
In this corner: Reche Caldwell. The Patriots’ butterfingered wide receiver. Holder of the famed deer-in-the-headlights stare. Month old default whipping boy of the whole of New England (until Manny shows up late to spring training next week). Nationally televised blower of the AFC Championship.
And in this corner: Sammy Stephens. The Montgomery Flea Market guy. Singer/dancer of the famed it’s-just-like-a-mini-mall song. Months old internet meme. Nationally televised by Ellen Degeneres.
In quite possibly the most hilarious craigslist posting this year, this poor guy bares his soul. And by soul, I mean ass.
In short, the dude ate a hot dog before a date and suffered horribly for it while at the girls place. Why don’t I let him set it up…
Now some of you might have been into a public bathroom, and seen shit caked all over the bowl - all the way up under the rim and wondered how it got there. It’s almost as if the person took a dump upside down.
Got your attention?
As I dropped trou, a volcanic like eruption occured. It was synchronized with my sitting motion. And it was projectile.
The rest of the goreyhilarious stark details are over at craigslist and copied below for posterity.
I just found a great site offering you 2 CDs. I already had them, though.