A man wakes up one morning to see that his dick is orange. He gets worried and decides to go to the doctor to see what his problem is. He tells the Doctor that his dick is orange and he doesn’t know what to do. The Doctor runs test after test and everything is normal. Finally, the Doctor asks, “What were you doing the last night?” The man responds, “Watching porn and eating Cheetos.”
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Author Archive for pdogg_19
There is nothing I love more then walking around the streets of NYC in the summer. They are filled with beautiful women in short little skirts that, with the slightest of breezes, will blow up and give me a glimpse of what lies beneath. The smell of street meat filling my nostrils and taking me back to the days of my youth and summer BBQ’s is amazing, but nothing brings me greater joy then when I turn the corner and I see this guy standing there.
I mean really, what is better then a giant inflatable rat in the middle of New York and knowing that hard working Americans are waging war against the unfair business practices of the corporate juggernauts whose only goal is to boost their bottom line? I say God bless America, summertime, and the inflatable rat.
One time this dude came back from a camping trip with a huge cut on his shoulder. His friend asked, “How the hell did you get that?” The guy said, “I had sex with a bear.” His friend goes, “Why the fuck would you do that?!” The guy goes, “Well, I was out taking a nice walk in the mountians, picking up some pine cones. Next thing I know some bear scratched my back with his claws.” His friend looked confused. Then the guy goes, “So I raped the honey-eating motherfucker!”
Two older men are sitting on a park bench talking and one of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers that he has an excellent sex life and is still very active.
The other man confesses that his sexual appetite has greatly diminished with old age so he asks the other man if he has any secrets for staying sexually vital.
“Well,” answered the man, “I eat rye bread everyday. That is my secret. If you just eat rye bread, your sex life will improve dramatically.”
The other man decides to follow this advice and finds a bakery nearby. He tells the clerk behind the counter that he wants all of the loaves of rye bread that they have in stock.
The clerk then asks the man, “do you want whole loaves or do you want us to slice them?”
The man looks puzzled and asks the clerk, “what is the difference?”
The clerk responds, “Well when it’s sliced, it gets harder faster.”
To which the man responded, “How come everyone knew about this but me?”
How do you castrate a priest?
Kick the alter boy in the chin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you call the hair between your grandma’s titties?
Her Vagina!
but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love a weiner
