Stuff Magazine meets Old Homestead meets Guns & Ammo meets Knight Rider
Sir, you embodied everything this crappy website is about and, unlike us, you had class. Few men can say they lived as much as you.
Farewell you stuntman extraordinaire, you prince of motorcycles, you pusher of the limits. You shall be missed, but know you inspired generations of dreamers, adventurers, and wearers of awesome jumpsuits.
In a word: legend, icon, dude.
Apparently, someone stole a bunch of kegs from a Guinness brewery in Ireland. Book your tickets now for this weekend’s FREE BEER BASH!.
No word yet on whether or not the Lucky Charms factory was hit by these scoundrels.
The suspect is described as being white, Irish, and mischievous.
Whoever edited Snoop Dogg’s “Sensual Seduction” deserves some sort of award (something that is shiny and screwed in to a base made of wood or marble with a plaque that tells people what the award is for).
This is the first music video I’ve liked in a long, long time (the other one being that video where Rihanna dipped herself in gold body paint and danced around and sang about umbrellas and rain and love).
This week, we salute one of my all-time favorite dancers, the only person who could have played the Acid Queen in that movie with fellow Babe of Yore, Ann Margrock; and the woman who made Creedence cool (even before Lebowski). You got that right, brother: Tina Turner.
She is simply the best , she’ll tear your soul apart, and she has always been way the fuck beyond Thunderdome. Lady Turner, thanks for being you.
Our apologies for the lack of good Tina pics that do her “Babes of Yore” status justice. Our researchers are busting our balls with their adorable little strike (little do they know, we are a non-profit… stay tuned for the “dot org” coming in 2008).
As turkey day approaches, The Menternet would like to encourage a safe and hearty celebration of Pilgrims, Indians, football, and professional-level feasting . Remember, Wednesday is the biggest bar night of the year, so turn it up full blast then rip the knob off that motherfucker because there’s nothing like sitting around the table with arguing relatives, staring into the mashed potatoes and gravy with a raging hangover (nothing some delicious stuffing and a healthy dose of box wine can’t fix).
If you’re lucky enough to be around a major metropolitan area for the holidays, be sure to go out again on Thanksgiving night for your best shot at some good old-fashioned DHP, bro (ladies, this can work for you as well). Two words: lay up.
For all you travelers: good luck and drive, train, or fly safe.
In important, breaking news, a Florida snake “expert” who was bitten for the 44th time by a venomous snake (fool me 43 times…) is in the hospital with a swollen arm and a bad case of the dumbfucks.
This is sort of like when there’s a tragic extreme kayaking accident or a horrific “over the falls in a barrell” mishap. In our opinion, when you put yourself in danger to support your awesome, goofy lifestyle (or to fatten up your resume as “Cobraman”), it’s not really a tragedy. “Oh man, I am so sad that uncle ‘Cobraman’ got hurt.” “Well, uncle ‘Cobraman’ did spent a lot of his time in tank tops cleaning shit out of the cages of his deadly pets’ cages.”
The rattlesnake is now safe in a zoo in an undisclosed state (for his own protection - there must be a “Rattlesnakeman” out there somewhere who’s just dying to show the world that this was a total fluke.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, get this: here in the Big Apple, it’s going to reach the mid 50s today (Farenheit, not the other one those Euro d-bags use) and tomorrow, temperatures are expected to exceed 60 degrees!
This can only mean one thing, people: a brief return to boobtown. Ladies, please do your best to support these warm climes by shedding those itchy layers. Let your body breathe and good things are bound to happen.
Let freedom ring , like 2 giant fleshy liberty bells!
Thanks for your support.
The Menternet has been a fan of Queens of the Stone Age for quite some time now. This smooth groove is on heavy rotation at the home office, makes the rounds on all the booty playlists (of which we have many), and is now in video format for your viewing/listening pleasure. When you’re making sweet, sweet love to that piece of rabbit fur you call your girlfriend*, play this jam and you are 100% guaranteed to make her explode with joy**.
Godspeed, good readers.
*Line from Grandma’s Boy - if you have yet to see it, please see it (you can thank us later).
**Figure not grounded in scientific research, as we found it impossible to measure a piece of rabbit fur’s enjoyment of anything.
This review of “No Country For Old Men” comes from our ace suburban field correspondent. Check it out:
“The villain (Javier Bardem) is the greatest villain EVER. He also uses the best weapon in a movie since the light saber. He makes Hannibal Lector look like fucking Joe Dirt.
This film is one of the greatest movies I’ve ever ever seen. I knew after one view it went in my top ten of all time- and now after two views it might go top five… I’ll have to re-consider and get back to you…
This movie is smart AND bad ass !!! It’s gory and allegorical.
Take the coolest, badass mob hit movies ever, mix it with the best westerns, put it in a philosophy class and you have “No Country” RUN don’t walk to see this movie. Unless you have a pussy. Then you might wanna go see “ACROSS THE UNIVERSE” the Beatles sacrilege. You pussy.
AND if Tommy Lee Jones does not win the academy award for this performance I’m burnin’ the Oscars DOWN !!!”
Bacon Paste! Spread it on (anything), people and taste the porky goodness. If you want to give your heart the extra workout, we strongly recommend brushing your teeth with it.
Jingle: “For the best in bacon taste, / Use more fuckin’ bacon paste.”
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