Swiss Actrees, Ursula Andress who played Honey Ryder in the 1962 Bond film, Dr. No. She dabbled in soft core pornography and played the goddess of the love, Aphrodite in the 1981 classic, Clash Of The Titans. Nice.
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Archive for August, 2007
So I walked into the Burger King this morning at like 10:54, sure they were gonna tell me that breakfast was no longer being served, but I must lead a charmed life because guess what? Breakfast was totally still being served. So I ordered my usual. The # 1. That’s a sausage, egg, and cheese croissandwich, those little hash browns that look like Tater Tots, and orange juice, just in case you are unfamiliar with the Burger King breakfast menu. While I waited for my order I happened to notice a sign on the counter advertising a new item called “cheesy tots”. After some haggling with the girl at the counter, I was able to substitute these new cheesy tots for the regular hash browns. Talk about a fucking upgrade! Holy shit, where have these things been my whole life? Burger King, you’ve done it again. This life altering taste sensation inspired me to write a short poem. I call it “Ode To The Cheesy Tot”:
Continue reading ‘“Ode To The Cheesy Tot” or “Burger King, You’ve Done It again”’
Steve Coogan! Currently under fire for single-handedly corrupting Owen Wilson, this Brit funnyman can be used as your new excuse for anything.
“Hey man, I know you fucked my wife in the back of our minivan!” “Oh… yeah… sorry about that Bill, after little league the other day, I was hanging out at Shoney’s with her and Coog-bones and, it just sort of happened.” “Damn that Coogan - I knew it! Well, I guess we’re cool, but don’t let it happen again. And for the love of God, stay away from that evil, evil man.”
Tonight marks the beginning of the College Football season. The second ranked LSU Tigers start their bid for a national title against the Mississippi St. Bulldogs in Starkville, Miss. Rutgers (#16) tries to continue it’s winning ways against the Buffalo Bulls at home in Jersey. There are 9 other games being played tonight, and of course, this Saturday will be huge as fans on campuses across the nation paint their faces, tap a few kegs, and hope this year is their school’s year to shine. (Don’t forget the NFL season starts a week from today…) And always remember to love your fellow student…
Man, sometimes don’t you wish you were 2 tiny vanilla ice cream cones? Mostly I don’t, but sometimes, I do.
From our ace reporter in the ‘burbs, “the Beej.”
I was at a rest stop the other day cruising for gay republican senators, when I noticed something that made me WAY more mad than FAG lawmakers: What’s up with dudes who walk away from stand-up urinals to take a leak in the stall toilet bowls? What’s the matter dude, afraid I’m going to see that you actually have a PUSSY? You homos.
You are the same guys who say to your wives “I have to pee”. Which is the NON man way to say “I have to take a leak” or “I gotta go drain my jizz-joystick’. Stand at a urinal and take a leak like a man. What are you nine? You need to stand over a bowl to hear the “tinkle” in the wa-wa? Or are the complexities of a standup urinal too much for you?
Continue reading ‘Bowl Pee-ers’
When your head’s that small, boobs (all of them) are HUGE!
Yes folks, there comes a time when that special someone comes along who makes us rethink all of our dumb, base, sophomoric thoughts and - if only for a moment - ponder a better, more sensible world.
M.I.A. may very well be the perfect person and I love her (there, I said it). She’s badass, wicked smart, been in “the shit”, adorable, good with kids, ambidextrous, and fluent in 5 languages. She has excellent penmanship, a photographic memory, a valid work visa, a strong sense of self, great taste in footwear, and rapier wit. On top of all that, her new album Kala kicks ass and the song “Bird Flu” (track 2) is the shit.
M.I.A., please keep up the good work knowing that we are behind you 100%. You’re an angel; don’t you go changin’ on us, okay?
Today, we offer a pirate’s salute to this.*
*Many thanks to resident swashbuckler, slone13 for the hot tip.
This Labor Day, whether you stay in town, travel to a relaxing shoreline hamlet, or jet off to Amsterdam to pull an Eiffel Tower on a couple of Canadian exchange students looking to make some (fun) mistakes, you’re gonna want to drink your face off.
The song, “Alcohol” by the jumpin’ gypsies of Gogol Bordello has been in heavy rotation here at our palatial home offices. I suggest you check it out when you have a chace, reflect on the lyrics, and make a hearty toast. (Note to Thriller - speech!)
