Our sources in the United Kingdom say that Keeley Hazell is still British and still hot.
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Archive for July, 2007
Balls!
BBC NEWS | UK | England | Merseyside | Woman jailed for testicle attack
“Pulled hard” is my new catchphrase, fuckers.
Guy #1: “Hey bro, how was your night?”
Me: “Pulled hard, man - like you read about.”
Guy #1: “Word.”
(See, it totally works. Guy #1 knows what I’m talking about.)
This is the best thing I have seen all day (the link down there) and, quite possibly, all month (note: July has been hot, bro). Imagine a world where bacon replaced beef. There would be giant bacon steaks, pigs would be the size of cows and roam the earth in herds, and no first world carnivores would live to see their late thirties.
Peppers and Smoke - Fire and Flavor in the Lone Star State
Man, that sounds like an awesome world (except for the dying part). Oh well, it’s like my Mom always says, “Fuck it. And stop being such a pussy!”
Love you, Mom.
That’s right, lady… you should party with me and the fellas (big time).
The White Stripes at Madison Square Garden on July 24, 2007
And Here It Is, The Setlist (rawwwwwwwk out, mang):
Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground
When I Hear My Name
Jolene
Hotel Yorba
Cannon
Icky Thump
Do
Death Letter
In The Cold, Cold Night
A Martyr for My Love for You
I’m Slowly Turning Into You
I Think I Smell A Rat
Wasting My Time
300 MPH Torrential Outpour Blues
You Don’t Know What Love Is
Fell in Love With a Girl
Ball and Biscuit
Encore:
Blue Orchid
I Just Don’t Know What To Do with Myself
Little Ghost
We’re Going to Be Friends
Little Bird
Catch Hell Blues
My Doorbell
Seven Nation Army
Boll Weevil
First things first, The White Stripes most definitely rocked my tits off last night. Jack is a guitar / front man GOD who knows how to bring the house down. Really, I truly can’t express how fucking awesome that show was – picture me in a massive orgy, covered in BBQ sauce & you still won’t get a clear idea of it’s awesomeness.
However.
To all the 16 year old fucks at the White Stripes show….I am not sure what my ex-boyfriend told you, but no, I will not fuck you if you say hello to me. This here, me standing w/ my arms crossed and staring straight ahead? Is NOT code for “keep talking to me during Jack’s solo.” You fuck. I absolutely don’t give a rat’s ass if Daddy got you a Humvee for your birthday & you are psyched because your other 16 year old homo friends had an 11 pm curfew and you don’t. When you ask me if I’m a teacher because I’m wearing glasses, this is one step closer to me taking this broken bottle & shoving it down your throat. And while you’re writhing in pain on the ground with blood pouring out of your mouth? I’m not even batting an eyelash and I’m finally getting back to enjoying the show.
So I know you Menternet fanatics out there are probably thinking it’s a compliment to be hit on by people 14 years your junior. Trust me, these guys need to A.) Take a few pointers from “Get Laid 101” & B.) They were beyond annoying. Picture being in tub full of razor blades w/ no hope of escape and you might understand.
But this post is supposed to be about the awesomeness that is the White Stripes. And to them, I salute you. You came, you rocked, & for that I am thankful. Bless your little hearts.
Here’s what I hope happens at the White Stripes show tonight, b/c that will mean that 1.) I fucking rocked my tits off. 2.) Everyone else was rocking their tits off. And 3.) I’m still drunk b/c that late night altercation w/ a whiskey bottle was absolutely, positively necessary.
PLUS
EQUALS
Stay Tuned.
En un esfuerzo de llegar al corazón un más ancho demográfico, el Menternet junta con tanto Telemundo como Univision para entregar el servicio en español. Esta característica debe estar en pleno funcionamiento dentro de la próxima pareja de meses. Hasta entonces, esperamos que todos puedan apreciar el sabor y la especia próximos que esto añadirán a nuestro contenido y general estético. Gracias para su paciencia y apoyo continuado.
Man alive, would you look at this thing? Is there anything these people aren’t afraid of.
Fear of Flying - News - Readers’ Comments - New York Times Blog
That is so queer. I don’t know whether to feel sorry for them, or kick their sorry little scaredy cat asses. When me and the boys go out, we all sport our “No Fear” shirts and we fuckin’ mean it, bro. There was this one time Robby shit his pants when some homeless dude tried to cut him with a piece of broken glass taped to the business end of a Swiffer, but that wasn’t fear, that was more of a defense mechanism.
